1.16.2014

Knocked Up: 33 Weeks and 29 Years

[Forgive the washed out blurry photo. If I missed what little daylight we had I have no prayer of getting a decent photo in the winter. My photography all but stops during the winter months, aside from occasional shoots on the weekend.]\

Here we are at 33 weeks already! I am still in the holy-crap-how-did-this-go-so-fast mindset which I'm hoping will stay with me for the next 6-7 weeks as those can be THE LONGEST. Lots of change at work and two active boys do a great job of keeping time from slowing down much. 

It is so odd to go through each day thinking about how this will be my last pregnancy. I'm not sad really, it's just more that I'm trying to soak it all in. It's hard to imagine or prepare for the end of an era. That being said I am so in love with the idea of three. It just feels so right. 

The past few weeks I've been having this feeling that this little boy will be born early, a feeling that I hope I am wrong about because there is WAY too much I want to accomplish at work before his arrival. I have no physical indicators of an early arrival, but my instincts are telling me it could happen. Noah was 6 days early and Ezra was 3. Baby is not allowed to come any earlier than that. I'm pretty sure he reads this through osmosis so that should take care of that worry. You hear that baby?!

Thinking that labor is 6 or so weeks away previously would've sent me into a mild panic but this time around I am very at peace with it. I've done it twice before and both experiences were completely different. This time I am going into it with a new confidence in what my body is capable of and the knowledge that it won't last forever. I've been blessed with quick labors and deliveries [knock on wood] which helps my brain deal with the idea of the pain. It will end and with a new babe in my arms to boot. [Is it insane that at 33 weeks I still sometimes can't believe I'm having another baby?]

I have not written out either of my previous birth stories in detail not because they were bad, but because all the birth stories I read on blogs are either about how awful/terrifying it was or how absolutely beautiful it was. I don't fall into either of those camps. Giving birth is something that my body does well, but it's not something that I find particularly beautiful or moving. I am terrible with pain but also get hit really hard by drugs, so either way I struggle. Courtney wrote this week about the birth of her second daughter with such honesty that it inspired me to do the same. I swear during labor. A LOT. I've uttered the words "I can't do this" in thick of it. But it doesn't make me any less proud that I've brought two precious boys into this world. So look forward to a few belated birth stories over the next few weeks. I may have to pick the husband's brain for that seeing as the oldest is pushing 8 now.

ooo

The day before I hit 33 weeks I celebrated my 29th birthday. I got spoiled by a weekend trip to Wisconsin Dells with my folks [see photos below] and a Hibachi dinner with my in-laws. I've spent a majority of the week reflecting on how lucky I am to have so many amazing people in my life that care about me. I am so proud of the life Brent and I have built as it's been over a decade of hard work. I drive home from work each night with a sense of peace knowing this is exactly where I'm supposed to be. The one decision I know that I did right was choosing him to be my partner in this life. Because of that I have not only him, but these two (soon to be three) gorgeous boys who fill my life with joy.

Basically, I've spent my days of 29 being extremely thankful for this thing called life.


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