I struggle with tuning in and out at the right times throughout my days. I am engaged at the wrong moments, a million miles away when I should be present. It's a fight each day for me to find a precarious balance. A slight shift and I am headed off in the opposite direction of where I should be in a heartbeat. I have a hard time turning off my brain and being present in the moment, focused on the task at hand. When there's laundry, groceries, bills to pay, boys to love on, meals to prepare, animals to care for, books to read, friends to keep in touch with, an so on and so forth. I wander.
I suck at tuning out the noise. It's almost as if I need to physically remove myself from certain things (coughtheinternetcough) to truly appreciate how much I don't need them at my fingertips every moment. I actually feel better with some distance. It helps me to bring the focus back to me, the precious moments I share each day with my small boys. Someday they will be grown and I won't have these small moments at my fingertips.
This weekend we spent a 24 hour respite* at a cabin that my in-laws rented a few hours away. The boys drove with them allowing Brent and I a rare few hours alone to talk about whatever our hearts desired. On the way out we talked about what we would do if we had limitless resources (horses!). On the way home we went much deeper and spoke of our hopes for our children, our hopes as parents. What we hope to instill in them, what we hope they remember of us, what we hope they appreciate only when they're grown.
Parenting is a skill that takes constant honing**. Just when you think you have one piece figured out everything changes and you have to come up with a whole new game plan. It's a tough job, but such an amazing privilege. Taking time away from our screens and not having the household chores nagging at us as we do each evening allowed us to connect as partners and parents and share our hearts. We both realized we need to seek out that type of connection more, to tune out the noise of everyday life and connect about the big picture sometimes.
It was a short trip, but a lovely one. It's been eleven years since I met this shaggy haired boy and I am still convinced that there is no one else on this planet I would more happily interrupt Hay Day for.
Oh, and the boys had fun too.
*I am taking the last week of August off of work to hang out with Noah before school starts. If I don't take ANY other time off prior to baby #3 I'll have ten weeks of maternity leave. Another story for another day. Sigh.
**I am reading Raising Your Spirited Child and it is AMAZING so far. If you think you might maybe need to read it, get it from your library immediately and dive in. Go, do it, now!