"This is ourselves
When I'm really stressed I tend to retreat into myself. I spend more time diving into chores, reading, writing, listening to music - solitary activities where I can either avoid reality or reflect on it. And in the back of my mind I am always brainstorming "How can I make this better? What are all of my options? What haven't I thought of yet?" I mean, there's got to be an answer, right?
Well, yes and no. Sometimes life is inherently stressful and there is nothing you can do to control it or "fix" it. You just have to do your best day to day to live through it, with the mantra that "this too shall pass" repeating in your head like a bad Maroon Five song. Other times you bring stress on yourself by taking on too much and need to create better boundaries to maintain your sanity. Saying no to someone or something is not the end of the world. [Trust me on this one. I do it a lot.]
Sometimes I'd be better served saying no to myself too. My expectations of what I can reasonably do during a 24 hour period can be pretty ridiculous. "Wrangle both kids solo while simultaneously cleaning the entire house, finishing laundry/dishes, planting flowerbeds, making full meals from scratch, logging in to work for a bit, and having a relaxing hour during naptime where I can read/write peacefully? Heck yes to that Saturday!" No joke that I regularly tell myself that those are reasonable activities for a Saturday. That, to me, looks like the thought pattern of a crazy person. And it is driving me crazy.
I have recognized that in my life right now something has to give, I'm just not sure what. Reading and writing are cathartic for me, so I don't want to drop those. I did cut back on my allergy/chiro appointments over the next few weeks and have a week long vacation coming up in June. Baby steps in the right direction. Also, Fat Bottom Girls always makes me feel good no matter what the circumstances. I dare you to listen to it and not sing along and smile. I double dog dare you. [If you don't own Queen's Greatest Hits you need to go out and buy it yesterday. GO! What are you waiting for?!]