2.25.2013

Adrift at Sea

 Before I met Noah I felt adrift at sea. I spent my whole life up to that point searching desperately for my place in the world, the one place where I could be wholly myself and still feel like I belonged. As soon as he entered this world, I knew. I knew that I belonged to him. And in that I found some peace. 

Noah circa 2006
That was further cemented with the arrival of his brother. Two small boys carrying around pieces of my heart and soul. Loving me even when I'm wearing sweatpants for the second day in a row or in my weaker moments when I yell at them, then quickly apologize. They are filled to the brim with forgiveness and love, even for someone who can be as broken as me.

For more than half of my life I couldn't imagine it containing children of my own. Now, I can't imagine living it without them. I know without a doubt that I am exactly where I am supposed to be, here, today, right now. And I have them to thank for that. They won't know truly what they mean to me until they have kids of their own, but that won't stop me from telling them as often as I can. Sometimes the days are long, the nights short, the stress high, so I need to remind myself of this. It doesn't have to be easy to be so worth it.



[Sidenote: I can't wait to become the queen of awkward selfies with my kids when the come to the pre-teen/teen years. They are so in for a treat!]

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