I recently finished Brene Brown’s book I Thought it Was Just Me and was really stoked to find out that she was speaking at the University of Minnesota about well being. Seeing her two TED talks and then reading that book, well, she’s sort of my hero now. Thor Heyerdahl has been ousted!
Brene was speaking about vulnerability, well being, and her latest book Daring Greatly. It was a truly inspiring presentation, with a lot humor worked in as well. Here are some of the highlights I took away:
- We wake up everyday and put on our armor to protect ourselves from being vulnerable. But we don’t take it off when we get home, so it can negatively affect our families. I recognize this behavior in myself and it always leaves me feeling like crap.
- Why do we dress rehearse tragedy during moments of joy? Her example: ever stare lovingly at your sleeping child and then imagine something horrific happening to them? We’re trying to beat vulnerability to the punch. It’s easier to live disappointment than to feel disappointment. Such simple words but it rings so true.
- Choose discomfort over resentment. Her example: “Hey, can you make cupcakes for the bake sale. Tomorrow.” Instead of saying “Sure!” and resenting the hell out of the person who asked or the shool, turn them down even though the conversation may be uncomfortable.
- People who embrace vulnerability have wicked strong boundaries. Embracing your vulnerability doesn’t mean you are a doormat. You take care of yourself first before caring for others.
One of the last pieces of wisdom she shared was this question: what is worth doing even if you fail? This one hits especially close to home for me. I don’t ever want to be perceived as a failure as it is a huge shame trigger for me. But failure is a part of life. You can’t always play it safe. I’m working on that. Redefining failure.
In sum, it was an amazing lecture and I can’t wait to pick up Daring Greatly and continue my journey into the jungle of vulnerability!